He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named

At 15, my love for him was innocent and pure. Everybody warned me about him but i was happy being with him, seeing him, just loving him. I soon found out he already had a girlfriend but we still behaved like a couple. However, i knew i was just someone invisible, easily discarded, just another toy in his life. Soon, he was tired of me, and in my heart i knew..it was time to let go. But when i left, i forgot to take my heart along with me. It took me a long time to forget him and all the hurt i felt. And even 8 yrs later, i was stunned when i saw him and immediately found a place to hide so that he wont see me. I didnt know why i was feeling so shocked and troubled to see him. I didnt even like him anymore. I guess seeing him must have brought back too many memories, of childish foolishness, of a shattered heart and of the once innocent me who could love so uninhibitedly.

Its funny how one encounter can change you for life. From then, i decided i'll never get dumped again, never let anyone hurt me again. Maybe thats why, I've never felt truly happy all these years. I have protected myself too well, along with my insecurities.

But yet, i do not dare leave the past, to start living in the present.